The Perfect Focus
Finding focus in a blurry world…
Children made of glass…
Rich on : Saturday, December 27th, 2008Do you need help, here let me do that for you…
As I sit and talk with my aunt (god mother) on the way to Forksville, PA to visit my dad the day after Christmas. I have come to the realization that some in my family are truly nuts. Or at least clueless.
As we talk on the near 3-hour drive. I mention that I’m now getting services provide by the Montgomery County Association for the Blind, and am receiving Orientation and Mobility training. As I explain to her; so I can learn to travel independently, use bus and public transportation. To this she replies, “Why would you want to do that?“…
As I pause for a moment and think to my self … WHAT THE FUCK! (Sorry kids…) But really, why would some one who cares for you be so cluless?
The objective of this all and the reason I am, the way I am today; scared to travel, and scared to go any place alone. Don’t know how to ride a bus, or use public transit is BECAUSE of over protective parents and relatives. I’m desperately trying to get away for that. I’m tired of relying on other people to take me the places I want to go.
As I had mentioned in one of my very first posts in this blog. I had O&M training to a limited extent in school. Listened to all the counselors tell my mom I should go on camps and bus trips ect. But because of the advice of other well-meaning adults to my mother, I did not.
And I can still hear the counselors say… “You can’t protect him for ever“… Well guess what… THEY WERE RIGHT! Maybe that Ph.D. does mean something after all?
I’ve come to my own conclusions … mom won’t be here for ever, friends and family move away, and other family members have there own life and own children to look after … I’m not made of glass. Why did it take almost 30 years to realize this? And why are people still so thick…!
I should mention not all in my family are so thick, some understand and support me, and the encouragement is helpful. Remember to post your thoughts as comments too, that is what this blog is for!
4 Responses for "Children made of glass…"
It’s a delicate balance. I was lucky to have an odd sort of role model in declaring independence: my dad, who passed away about three years ago, had Parkinson’s Disease for most of my life. Once he started to hunch over and walk slowly, people were constantly offering help, and they meant well, but it wasn’t help he needed. In fact, the “help” would often throw off his balance and make him fall.
Dad insisted on doing things himself, and I had to learn, as much as anyone, to let him. For my own part, it’s been so central to my life that I have independence, that I travel and navigate and locate on my own, that I’ve had to learn how to ask for help when I need it.
One of the great advantages of living in New York is that virtually no one drives, and many of us natives don’t have a license. That helps. But I still have to assert myself, just as often as I ask for help, when others offer help I don’t need or want. My family has taken as long as anyone else to figure out where that line is. It’s not easy for them or for me.
All I can say with certainty is that there is real value in independence, especially for those of us with limited sight or any other physical limits. It also brings up a lot of fear to venture out without the crutches we’re used to. It’s a lot of work. It’s well worth it. Having said all that, I’m moving into my own apartment sometime this summer, and that’s going to make my mom very nervous.
Thanks for bringing up issues that affect all of us, Rich.
Thanks Jeremy…
I believe we all have a few “nuts” that have fallen off the tree in our families. I love your point of view on this subject, and it makes me realize how I need to treat my son. I need to watch how over protective I am.
It’s rather ironic that I read this post today. My cousin called explaining she had moved her children to a school that focuses more on individual needs vs a public school. Her kids were homeschooled for awhile and are all bored because they are ahead of their current classes. Well when my cousin told her grandmother what she had done her grandmother said “Well why the heck would you do something like that?”. My cousin just sighed and hung up.
We’ve had a few Home School children come threw our judo program over the years. And for the most part the children are always well behaved. How ever most lack the social skills and always seem very uneasy interacting with the other children… The interaction of children is a very important part of growing up; and I don’t simply mean other home school kids, interacting with other home school kids.
I respect the right to home school, some public school SUCK! But, get the kids involved in some publicly run group, such as judo, karate, PAL or Little League. They will thank you for it.
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